Crystal Castles and Other Pre-Adulthood Crisis'

Does anyone else have the issue where they don't know where they are in life at all. I mean, given I'm only 19 and still in college, but really, not feeling like I'm doing too much with my life at the moment. Kind of a lazy, borderline pointless existence. That's a pretty bleak way of putting it, but it's what I feel. Then again it might have to do with the music I've been listening to. I wonder if there is a study out there on how different types of music effect your moods.

If that is the case Crystal Castles probably isn't helping me too much. Although I have taken an unusual liking to them for a dance band. I'm like a crack head is to coke when it comes to synthesizers. Which is kind of an embarrassing thing to admit given the fact that I'm fairly well educated musically. And I know that synthesizers are easily the cheapest instrument that get kids all worked up. But that the same time I can at least say they're being used differently now than how they used to be back in the 80's.

Meh whatever. Even though I hate this feeling it's kind of a love hate relationship. I mean I don't really enjoy being all moody and depressed, but I do enjoy the abstract thinking it can bring on. It's hard to explain. Actually it's totally impossible to explain. It's kind of like my brain turns into pancake batter and I start seeing things for what they are without any opinion on it. Like my brain just absorbs it, but doesn't process it and take opinion. I know, Devin's on drugs. Well not really. I probably just have some sort of chemical imbalance in me which would require a doctor to actually listen to me for five minutes rather than prescribe me to ambien/lunesta/whatever the hell is in the little box sitting next to me... Rozerem? It's suppose to reset my binary clock. Spleeping pills and this is suppose to fix me. BUT sleeping pills have stopped working on me and my mom really hates me taking them anyways so they randomly disappear from time to time.

Shit. I'm going to go listen to more Crystal Castles and not sleep.


It's kind of weird thinking the girl in this band was born in 1988. Like I was born in 1989... Damn, I'm really doing nothing with my life.